happy and sad

Food is like an eternal panacea for me, i think sometimes I was born either in the wrong religion or the wrong country, I should be an Italian mama or a Jewish mother, because when it all goes horribly wrong I cook. the last few months have been a little bit like a sick comedy drama, where some mornings I have hardly dared get out of bed for fear of what horrors will befall the day. we have lost people really dear and had a roller coaster of a cancer diagnosis for my mother in law, just when we thought surely nothing else.... the dog died. The only way I have been able to carry on is to cook. my family and Mr H's  have been stuffed with food..............When his father died I filled his mums freezer with tasty little portions of casseroles, pork ala normande - pork slowly simmered in cider, apples, prunes and creme fraiche. when the cancer diagnosis hit, I started filling everybody with antioxidant filled salads, toasted nuts and bright winter fruits, but mostly I have baked (and baked and baked). there is something so calming about spending  time making food for those and with those you love.. i have baked Mr H'S favourite ameretti morbiddi  - just like the ones we ate with his father in the little cafe bar up the road from the vicarage in Taormina  Sicily. I took solace in Sarah Raven and baked Walnut bread, then spent a day tweaking it with dried figs and more nuts to make it even more delicious. I baked sticky toffee pudding , rich with squidgy dates and dripping with hot toffee sauce another favourite of the people i love most in the world. So you see, thats where i have been, I am sorry I have been away for so long.....but I have got lots to catch up on in hte next few weeks x
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